Muggy and Gay

Jules; non-binary being; they/them/their or ey/em/eir. One time I made a pun about Karl Marx and the 1848 revolutions that was so terrible that it took five minutes to explain. It's my proudest achievement.
If you don't mind me asking, what ARE the right codewords to use on doctors and such?
woofgender woofgender Said:

constantlyrambling:

sirida:

branwyn-says:

teland:

teland:

I’ve thought, many times, about writing a book or something that was basically How To Negotiate Your Disability Without Curling Into A Ball And Weeping More Than Once Or Twice A Week *Or* Murdering The Entire Universe (More Than Once Or Twice A Week).

Here are some highlights:

1) On acquiring adequate pain medication.

Never actually say “I really need strong drugs here doctor, because the drugs you and every other doctor gave me for this injury/illness didn’t work, and also I’ve been in pain for years and I’d like that to stop.”

While there are some doctors who speak human languages and will understand what you’re saying, most, when you say that, will hear:

“I am a ravening junkie werekaiju, and I will come to your house and EAT YOUR BABIES IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME HEROIN.”

You think I’m kidding? Watch a healthcare professional’s eyes when someone else says something like the following. Watch them shut down and back away and tighten up and generally stop treating the person like a human.

So what do you say?

Try this:

“Well, I hate these drugs that make me *stupid*, you know? One of these so-called doctors — they gave me some pill that made me feel like I was on a whole separate planet for *years*, but I was still in pain! I have things to *do*, doctor. I have a job/family/projects. I wouldn’t be here if I could get my work done the way I am now, but if I can’t do them with the drugs you give me, then what’s the point?”

Make sure to translate this into the appropriate dialect for your area, but note the important points:

a) Reassures the doctor that you’re not one of those ~*eeevil*~ junkies.
b) Reassures the doctor that you’re not one of those ~*eeevil*~ non-productive members of society.
c) Reassures the doctor that you’re not one of those ~*eeevil*~ weak-willed disabled people.

Remember not to use too *much* *correct* medical jargon — they get suspicious about that.

Yes, all of this is necessary a *lot* of the time.

With the above code, 95% of the time the doctors begin *cooing* at me and treating me like *royalty* — and *100%* of the time I have gotten the effective medication.

Pro-tip: If you can add a true (or true-sounding) story about how much you *hate* one *particular* opiate (“Percocet is useless! All it does is make me stupid!”), then you’re probably in the bag.

2) Acquiring mobility devices.

Never actually say “I need a walker/wheelchair/scooter, because I have trouble getting around, and also I have a great deal of fatigue and pain when I try to do so.”

While some healthcare professionals speak human languages and have souls… well.

A lot of them? Will hear this:

“I am a fat, lazy, Fatty McFatFat, and I will continue to expand, much like the universe, until I am a drain on the resources of this great nation and a proof that you, doctor, are a failure. I will never use the mobility devices, ever, and they will gather dust in my home — a mockery of everything you, Morally Healthy Person, holds dear.”

Yes, I know this makes even less sense than the former, but I’ve interrogated these people — the ones who have still have partially-functional souls and minds — and this really is how it works in their adorable little pinheads.

They really do think we’re asking for these devices for… no reason at all.

Or, as my otherwise sane GP put it, she has an honest fear that people like us will  take one look at our new mobility devices and throw all caution — and sense — to the winds. That we’ll stop stretching and exercising. That those of us who *can* walk for short distances will — somehow! — decide to *never walk again*. That we’ll decide to — gleefully! cheerfully! blithely! — let every last one of the muscles we’ve been clinging to with our *fingernails* *atrophy* to *nothing*, because…

Because they think we’re idiots, that’s why.

So, try this instead:

"I have a lot of pain and fatigue when I try to walk for any kind of distance, at all, and that’s getting in the way of my ability to have anything resembling an active life. It’s even hard to get to my doctor’s appointments sometimes! I want to do at least some of my own shopping and other errands, and go out with my friends, and at least try to hold down a job, but unless the weather is really good and I’m having a good day in other ways, it’s just not going to happen. I don’t want to stop using my cane/walker/whatever completely — and I *won’t* unless I *have* to, just like I won’t stop doing my PT and OT exercises — but I need something that will let me actually have a life."

Note the similarities to the pain management code — and yes, do make sure you put this in your own words.

But also make sure you keep everything that makes you sound like the Virtuous Handicapable Person you totally are.

Because that’s necessary.

Yes, it is.

Yes. It. Is.

Just as it will be necessary, in many states — make sure you check — to add in this little number:

"It’s just… well, you know that I don’t really have any bladder or GI issues, doctor, but I still… sometimes… on bad mobility days… you know."

Here’s where you look down.

"Sometimes I don’t make it… you know. In time."

Understand that you’ll have to repeat this to, like, four different people. At least.

Understand that some of them will make you get specific.

If it helps, pretend you’re Steph Brown, doing her level best to gross the everloving bejeezus out of her P.E. teacher with graphic stories about her period so she can get out of class and fight crime.

*I* certainly found that helpful.

YOU GUYS YOU GUYS YOU GUYS!

My wheelchair has arriiiiiiiiiiiiiived!

I’ve spent the past few hours bumping into everything ever and also running *over* everything ever and I’m so in love I can’t even deal, because!

Chair!

Freedom!

FREEDOM!

I’ll be able to go shopping for necessities even when my legs don’t work enough for the walker or the cane! I I’ll be able to go shopping even when my legs don’t work at all! I’ll be able to go all *kinds* of places even when my legs don’t work!

To doctors’ appointments! Physical therapy! Restaurants! Museums! Farmers’ Markets! Orchards! FARMS! Concerts! Movies! LIBRARIES MOTHERFUCKER!

I won’t HAVE to put all the responsibility on Jack, whose legs barely work any fucking better than mine! Do you understand this? CAN you understand this?

Fuck, I’m tearing up so hard here, and — yeah. This is why I’m reblogging the above. I *know* there are people out there in the U.S. who need this help. People who, like me, have Medicaid insurance — insurance which often feels *damned* theoretical — but still haven’t been able to get the pain management or mobility devices they require.

For those of you in Southern New England, I went through:

Access Rehab Centers — fine PTs, OTs, and speech therapists who will do their *damnedest* to come through for you both in terms of giving you the therapy you need and in filling out the REAMS of PAPERWORK you need. They, in turn, worked with:

Hudson Seating & Mobility — These people are absolute motherfucking HEROES. They come to your home; they measure you gently and professionally; they treat you like human beings; they explain everything about the various mobility devices to you and then ask you *more* questions to winnow down which one(s) would be the *best* fit for you; they *bring* you devices to test-drive; they give suggestions about how to arrange your home for your health, comfort, and safety; they tell you how to get what you need and what you need to say and who the best PTs to talk with are; they go with you to the PT to do more fine-tuning and help fill out the paperwork; they man the barricades when Medicaid tries again (and again, and AGAIN) to screw you —

And then they deliver your baby to your door just as fast as they can.

And, you know? These people all go to conventions and industry meet-ups. They talk to each other. Contact them. See if they can connect you to people in YOUR area.

THEY ARE THE LITERAL BEST.

I? Have been trying to get even a *manual* chair that I’d only be able to use when I had a physically powerful aide to push me around in it since *2005*. My (new as of last December) GP sent me to Access who sent me to Hudson earlier this year and —

WHAM.

Yeah.

YEAH.

PLEASE. PLEASE. TRY TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN FOR YOURSELVES.

YOU ALL DESERVE TO BE EXACTLY AS HAPPY AS I AM RIGHT NOW!

My chair, by the way?

Has green accents.

He’s named Jaybird.

Because he’s JUST THAT MOTHERFUCKING SUPPORTIVE AND INVESTED IN MY COMFORT AND SAFETY AND HAPPINESS AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT HE WILL RUN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING ASS OVER UNTIL YOU’RE MOTHERFUCKING CRANBERRY SAUCE.

FUCKIN’ A.

Reblogging because these kinds of scripts are exactly what I have to use in order to get the drugs I take for anxiety. I HATE doctors. I cannot over-state how much.

I hate going to the doctor. I can’t seem to do these scripts no matter how many times I practice, and it’s so frustrating.

its so f*cking ridiculous that our f*cked up medical systems make us do this; but all of the above is true. id also like to note for young adults/teens especially: if you go to the e.r. for pain, do not let them see you on your phone. in their minds, that reads as “oh, this silly teenager is able to text just fine, so they MUST be perfectly okay and just here to get drugs”. its infuriating, but thats how doctors think. ugh. wow i hate doctors.

returnofpowerbastard:

this dog is that character you think is evil but actually has a heart of gold

(via greenseer)

modestdemidov:

modestdemidov:

i’ve just been informed there’s a metal band with a parrot for the lead singer

their name is hatebeak

image

ya think i’m foolin

image

image

(via canisbeta)

jcatgrl:

constantlyrambling:

cecilfhtagn:

cishaming:

junkerjunkee:

sluttymspauling:

junkerjunkee:

ihatecispeople:

Truscum are just upset that anti-truscum are winning the gender games

Reasons why we need more truscum people #1682: People are calling gender a game

gender is a game and i am winning

Reasons why we need more truscum people #1683: More than one person is calling gender a game

I got a gold medal in the gender games

i volunteered as tribute for the 2012 summer gender games!

gender is my fave game i win at it every family game night

one time i was playing the gender game and i crit failed like right at the beginning but later i found a treasure chest with a +3 flaming sword of pronouns, so all in all i did pretty well that day

I fell off my horse at the 2013 equestrian gender championships. fortunately, no one was hurt. the horse scored 13 dunks

my mom knows what’s up

buttastic:

nearly all trans people I know feel body dysphoria (myself included) but like, the reason trans people feel dysphoria is because we live in a society that says certain body types correspond to certain genders. this is cissexism on a societal level, to insist that dysphoria is essential to being transgender is to say that this system is correct and that trans people have an obligation to desire to change themselves to conform to cissexist ideals. that doesn’t fly with me. the fact that dysphoria is linked with transness does not mean that one should define the other

(via canisbeta)

wnyc:

GOPY

(via greenseer)

eevee-ray:

gingerofmanyfandoms:

eevee-ray:

I think it’s so great how every pokemon is someone’s favorite

like even your least favorite pokemon…no matter what, at least one person will love that pokemon

Except for Bidoof. No one loves Bidoof.

NO. EVEN BIDOOF. EVERY POKEMON.

(via cosmicmewtwo)

purplekecleon:

koryos:

If you love Scottish fold cats, I’m going to tell you something you don’t want to hear. Please, please read on anyway. If you are considering adopting a Scottish fold, PLEASE continue reading. This information needs to be more widely known.

In 2008, the Journal of Small Animal practice released a short report on disorders associated with breeds of cats. In this report, the authors mentioned the Scottish fold:

People who own them may be “charmed” by their round faces and open expression (and they may not realise that the reason the cats do not move around too much is because they are variably crippled with arthritis).1

The gene that causes the cute fold in the Scottish fold’s ear also leads to the development of a degenerative disorder called osteochondrodysplasia. ALL Scottish folds have this disorder, whether they show symptoms or not- the fold in their ears is caused by a cartilage deformity that also affects their joints.

Osteochondrodysplasia leads to crippling osteoarthritis, which affects Scottish folds at much younger ages than other breeds of cats. In cats heterozygous for the gene, the disease’s progression can be seen in cats as young as six months. In homozygous cats, it can be seen as early as seven weeks old.

Affected cats may be grossly deformed, with short wide limbs and a short, inflexible tail. They show lameness, swollen wrist (carpal) and ankle (tarsal) joints, have an abnormal gait, and are reluctant to move and jump. Severely affected individuals become crippled and unable to walk.

Many affected cats are euthanased earlier in life due to the profound effects of this disease.2

The breed is often described as “placid” and “calm.” This is due to the fact that they are constantly in pain due to this disorder. Even in mild, ‘asymptomatic’ cases which can occur in heterozygous cats, they may still be experiencing pain due to cats’ tendency to hide their suffering.

Many breeders of Scottish folds claim that not all heterozygous cats have the disorder, because the studies that examined the cats (which were all, heterozygous or not, shown to have it) had small sample sizes.

In 2003, Lorraine Shelton, a specialist in genetic diseases, offered to pay for 300 x-rays of healthy adult Scottish folds to prove that the disorder was not present in some heterozygous cats.

…She has asked a list of 300 Scottish Fold breeders from around the world to go to their vet to get X-rays done. She had offered to pay for these X-rays but not a single breeder had taken up that offer. You could not know whether this problem existed unless an X-ray was taken. If somebody would send her an X-ray of a healthy hind leg of a folded eared cat, she would be grateful as she wanted to see the very first one.3

To date, no one has taken her up on the offer. The breeders’ unwillingness to have their cats examined speaks volumes. The authors of all studies on these cats agree: it ethically wrong to continue breeding these cats.

It disturbs me that any breeder would knowingly continue to create animals that will be in pain throughout their lives. As a cat lover myself, I am begging you, please do not buy Scottish folds. Do not support these unethical breeding practices, or the concept that it is acceptable to intentionally breed unhealthy animals for the sake of how they look.

Citations

Breed-related disorders of cats (discusses issues with other breeds as well)

Genetic welfare problems of companion animals: osteochondrodysplasia (a thorough description of the disease and its prevalence)

FIFe meeting notes (leading to a decision not to recognize Scottish folds as an offical breed due to the disorder)

There was also a follow-up email about Shelton’s offer which can be read here.

Studies on osteochondrodysplasia in Scottish Folds

Osteochondrodysplasia in Scottish Fold cats

Incomplete dominant osteochondrodysplasia in heterozygous Scottish Fold cats (this is the source of the above x-ray pictures)

Before you buy ANY animal, please do your research. If a breed suffers from high incidences of genetic disorders, don’t use your money to support the creation of more animal suffering.

This is important enough to be posted to my main blog. I know I reblogged this months and months ago, but not enough people know about this.

There is absolutely no way to “cure” the Scottish folds of this. The gene that causes the ear to look so cute and floppy is because of the cartilage not forming properly, which is what causes the health problems — even in cats that are bred Fold x Non Fold.

What’s fucking worse is that they’re cross breeding Scottish folds with other cats. As soon as I saw them crossed with Sphynxes (anyone who follows me is probably aware of the three Sphynxes we have and how much I love them), my heart sank. This is called a “Skinderlop”

Breeding is supposed to be about breeding healthy cats/animals free of defects, and about examining mutations to see what the health risks are, if there are any. It is not supposed to be about creating more cats who are doomed to horrible health problems from birth. That is so cruel it’s unbelievable - and people still defend this breed’s continued existence…

If you know anyone who is looking into getting a kitten from a breeder, PLEASE let them know about the health problems associated with Scottish folds and cross breeds so that they don’t continue to support this sort of thing. It is needlessly cruel.

(via jcatgrl)

valvala:

boundtothewater:

ashfirin:

please watch this video of a deer having a temper tantrum because no one will feed him

feed him

this dog is SICK

(via greenseer)